Just a Week!!!

This time next week I suspect that I will not be checking Facebook, Twitter or doing much of anything else.  Hopefully I will have had successful bladder surgery and will be sleeping.  That's right bladder surgery. Not what you want to share with everyone but hey it was going to come out in Wikileaks so I thought I'd get in front of it. 

It's not how imagined the Holiday Season even four months ago but living is always a surprise.  I should be fine I'm told but just in case there a just a few things I want to make certain I write down.

I don't if know if there has ever been a more blessed person than me.  I should be dead but I'm not.  That Joy, my spouse, is still in my life and we're still in love and still are making plans is a miracle. Our two adult children, Lesley having a smashing good time studying in Glasgow, Scotland and JD winging his way back from New York as I write this are simply the finest young people we know.  That is a major statement.  We know a lot of extraordinary young people.

We've had challenges over the last couple of years and sometimes it looked bleak but it always seems to work out.  I lost my job over a year and half ago and haven't had but one interview for a new job since then.  But that free time gave me a chance to work with the courageous people of Telling Our Stories and make a video that I never would've made.  I'm very proud to be part of this ongoing journey led by the Very Reverend Ed Hansen and hope that once I get past this surgery and one more (not as bad) can again help share our collective stories to all.

I am very grateful that Joy has a good job that she likes and works with people she really can appreciate.  It now provides Health Insurance for (right now) all four of us.  It has become literally a life saver.  We're paying for it but the alternative would be unsustainable for us right now so again I count my blessings.

We had to give our cars up this summer and it really sucked.  For a while, Congress couldn't decide whether or not to fund unemployment and when they did it was too late.  Joy and I have got use to using the city's Metro system.  It's not ideal but then again we are not contributing as much for our nation's insatiable appetite for oil and we found a really good book series (Decker/Lazarus Crime Novels) that help us escape during our bus rides to work or to Doctors and tests.  I wasn't always getting the best news from doctors for the last few months and reading is a reparative diversion for the soul.  Again no matter how I look at it I'm blessed.

Right now the news from Doctors is very promising. This surgery should do the trick and just like everything else it will be far behind me soon.  As you get older time seems to go faster because no matter how you count it there's probably less of it in front of you than there once was.  So I expect time to keep on fleeing and that's fine.  It really is a quantum blessing and I have no idea what that means.

I've been cleared this week for surgery and I've been told recuperation might take a while. With that in mind I wanted to make certain I write this.

Have a great Holiday Season!!!!!

Love and Peace to everyone,

Marie Fairman

TMZ Help the USA

Have you ever watched TMZ?  I mean really watched it?  Its breathtaking.  The relentless pursuit of truth in the world of celebrity.  It's a walking talking oxymoron.  And they're good at it!!  Harvey Levin and his intrepid team of reporters follow anyone who just got their 15 minutes of fame (to paraphrase Andy Warhol) and then keep following them for their next fifteen months of infamy till someone else's 15 minutes is more sparkling in light of tiny HD cameras.

They follow Lindsay Lohan to a McDonald's, they ambush Atlanta and New Jersey REAL housewives as they peck and scratch at each other and Mel Gibson will never have a day of peace in the outside world again.  Did these celebrities ask for this?  Of course they did!!!  Thank God for TMZ or we might just forget they even exist.

Personally I am in awe of their dogged determination.  I believe all of our national security concerns could be nearly eliminated if TMZ would go after a group of people who really want celebrity.  Why doesn't TMZ charge the hills of Pakistan, swarm throughout the streets and poppy fields of Afghanistan and find the Terrorists?  Nobody else can find them but I bet TMZ can!  Granted armed only with their dinky cameras and a quest for any truth they might meet with some resistance but that's never stopped them before.

They sniff out extreme behavior in the most inaccessible places on earth already - the club scene of LA.  Who would you rather meet in a dark alley running to their limo or Bentley?  A blitzed out Mel Gibson or a sober guy who can't get his underpants to explode?  Thanks to TMZ we know that answer. Go to it TMZ!!!  And make sure that big TMZ logo is all over those underpants!!!!

  

Personal Blog Stardate - 313738.53

Here is my Wishlist for Stardate -313981.98.

1 - Complete repudiation of the Republican attack on President Obama in the mid term elections.

2 -  Meg Whitman losing despite spending additional 50 million dollars in the last three days.

3 - Carly Fiorina losing her race to incumbent Barbara Boxer and then finding work oversees sorting used hypodermic syringes with needles (gloves not included - actually frowned upon).

4 - Allow Craig Mortensen and Central Asian Institute take command in all manners regarding Pakistan and Afghanistan.

5 - The male members of the Democratic Leadership grow a set of balls and take on their adversaries like they actually exist.

6 - Repeal DADT.  Really.

7 - Make Marriage Equality a reality in all fifty states.

8 - Simaltaneous power outage of CNN, MSNBC and FOX News along with all the major broadcast networks starting at stardate - 313836.68 and lasting until stardate -313839.76.

9 - Bring back Better Off Ted on a network that will let it be itself.

10 - Civility be a employable position.

If you can help with any of these outrageous and utterly foolish dreams thank you.

A wistful trekkie,

Marie Fairman

Perspective

Lindsay Lohan, 24, is all over the news because she's a celebrity drug addict.  Nothing will be mentioned by any program about Justin Allen, 23, Brett Linley, 29, Matthew Weikert, 29, Justus Bartett, 27, Dave Santos, 21, Chase Stanley, 21, Jesse Reed, 26, Matthew Johnson, 21, Zachary Fisher, 24, Brandon King, 23, Christopher Goeke, 23 and Sheldon Tate, 27 who were all Marines that gave their lives this week with NO MEDIA MENTION. 

My second cousin Derek Grubbs posted this on Facebook and asked all his FB friends to re-post.  I did and I would ask you to do the same on your social network.  I'm asking everyone on my blog list to say each one of these fallen hero's name out loud and give them a silent moment of thanks.  Without their sacrifice, we wouldn't even know about poor Lindsay's troubles.

God please HELP US! I Could Be a TV Commentator!!

We've finally got there.  Anyone can be a TV commentator.  It might be on YouTube or their own website or just a low resolution video attached to an email but EVERYONE can be a commentator on TV!!!  You don't need an education.  As a matter of fact that might be a hindrance.  If you do have an education you should ignore it.  Especially if you're a baby boomer.  Forget all you've learned from living through Viet Nam, race relations, the peace movement, Watergate, women's liberation or Woodstock.  Instead plant your head firmly up your ass and then try to talk.  What comes out will be crap but that is evidently what advertisers (especially heterosexual males with ED) want to associate themselves with so you will likely succeed!!! 

Ignorance now is truth.  What you don't know should not intimidate your right to free speech.  Go ahead and talk.  Make it up as you go along.  Go off on tangents and never return to the point you started.  Just yak and whatever you say will become the new truth and that will go viral.

What a heady time for stupid people.  Finally they are getting compensated for their lack of education and unwillingness to work.  It's almost a miracle that so few with so limited an idea of humanity should lead a humanity that is losing its humanity.

Glen Beck says the President of the United States is a racist.  Who knew?  Rick Sanchez on CNN sent his intrepid reporter to the Abbey in West Hollywood when Prop 8 was overturned.  You don't know what the Abbey is?  She's our favorite character on NCIS!!!  And how about when a little white girl goes missing?  Will we ever get enough coverage?  Not possible.

On Cable News you can't overreact to a story.  Look into the camera  and say, "Breaking News!!" and then say, "Let's check in and see if there's is still oil in the Gulf."  There was oil in the Gulf BEFORE the spill.  You can't go wrong!  Go with the visceral images and loop those image again and again and bring in anybody who has ever heard about water or oil and talk endlessly over the images.  We never will know when the spill in the Gulf is over. Great job!!!

News is now a montage of images both real and real looking and it doesn't matter which is which.  Whatever gets you ratings is what's important.  Go with you gut.  The bigger the better.  Addle your brain with drugs and alcohol.  Just keep going like an Energizer bunny!!  But don't use lithium!!!  It could bring you down man.

I want to join in!!!  I have an education (supposedly) but its mostly in Theatre so it was always suspect as to its real world worthiness.  But I  do have some improv skills and watching the terrific troupe of improv artists/anchors in cable news (with special props to Fox News) and listening to them on talk radio I am empowered to try this myself.

I am empowered but I just don't have the balls (literally) to do it.  I'm still in awe of the great pretenders and I'm not sure I could keep bearing false witness with such fidelity.  I know someone would call me out and I would crumble.  These people don't!!  If anything they get more bold and make up new stuff.  My admiration for them is without reason. It just feels wrong and I know then its must be inequitable.

Keep it up you morons of the media. Whether your ideology is left or right or nowhere because to have principles is just too confusing, keep up your asinine dialogues and monologues.  Mutual masturbation is always fun for someone.

It's Time!!

It's time.  I'm nearing my 60th year and I selfishly want something to happen before I...well am 60. That will July 25, 2012. Actually that would be a great day for it to happen.  I mean it's time now but if he can't do it till then that would be okay. No it wouldn't!!! It needs to be said NOW!  No more waiting!  No more capitulating! No more reaching out to others to understand the reality that has been with us since the beginning of existence!  What is it?  What is so important that it can't wait one more day?  

I want the President of the United States to say that he 

supports gay marriage. 

Today would be nice during his weekly YouTube address.  It's in the news this week.  Yeah today would be perfect.

Political suicide you say?  Well his enemies want him dead anyway.  What has he got to lose?  And tell me what have the Democrats got to lose?  Right now they can't take any of the credit for anything good that has happened in the last two years and are seen as responsible for anything bad.  You want people to get up in your grill about stuff you didn't do or do you want to change the conversation?

If President Obama made that statement, I believe it would define and galvanize the Democratic party.  It would show to the rest of the nation and the world that they are the party of true change.  Can you imagine the lift it would bring?  The Democrats wouldn't be afraid of anything!!!

Is this dangerous?  Damn straight it is.  People will want to kill the idea...Literally!!  They've been trying to deny and kill gender variance for ten thousand years and we're still HERE!!!!!!   But what was it, Mr. President, you said in Atlanta this week?  

"And I do want to point out, when you get in your car, when you go forward, what do you do? You put it in “D.” When you want to go back, what do you do? You put it in “R.” " 

Well put it in D!!!  You stating that you unequivocally support gay marriage will move us forward.  We need to hear a President, not a pretender to the Presidency but the actual President say those words.

And I think he wants to do it!

His stand on Prop 8 doesn't make any sense.  It's divisive?  That's why he opposes it?  There's more to it than that.  He can't possibly be opposed to gay marriage.  I'm afraid that the reality is that he is looking at it politically and it doesn't seem to be the right time because there are so many people still opposed on MORAL grounds.

Supporting Equality has been and always will be the moral high ground.  

The President and the Democrats should run to it while they still can get in front of it.  Gay marriage in the United States will be a reality very soon because it is just and it is in our DNA as Americans to ultimately turn to what is just.    

Now this is selfish on my part.  I know I'm going to die someday because I already have.  On the 30th of December in 2007 I had a massive coronary and it's a miracle that I am still here and can look back at the last two and a half years and marvel at what has happened in my life.  If I had died that day, I wouldn't have been backstage at the Kodak when Senators Clinton and Obama walked in together for the California Democrat Debate.  I wouldn't have seen Senator Obama go on to become President.  I wouldn't have seen the Inauguration.  I wouldn't have seen the Steelers win another Superbowl in 2009 and then the SAINTS, the SAINTS!!!! win in 2010!  And I wouldn't have been standing in the Gay and Lesbian Center in Hollywood, California when it was announced that Prop 8 had been overturned by a very conservative judge.  Talk about miracles! 

Make one more miracle happen Mr. President.  Say "I support gay marriage."  It's time.

NYT: 'Silent raids' sweep illegal workers from jobs - U.S. news - The New York Times - msnbc.com

NYT: 'Silent raids' sweep illegal workers from jobs - U.S. news - The New York Times - msnbc.com

It's so unusual to have a smart and moral person as the President. In my lifetime I haven't seen the like. We have had Presidents who have come from humble beginnings and have achieved greatness. Richard Nixon and Bill Clinton certainly would come to mind. While both were brilliant they were duplicitous and ultimately their Presidencies suffered as did the nation. So we looked for persons who were humble and just like us or could pretend that they were President better than anyone finally culminating in last President who would've had trouble being a good Congressman. From Texas no less.

These silent raids of audits on employers of illegal aliens is just the latest example of the way this guy works. Quiet and smart. While the rest of the US politicians are in a stranglehold with one another and the pundits just sit on TV and analyze or I mean jack off, he is leading us to the promised land. But are we going to shut up our fucking mouths (and I'm talking to you liberals) or are we going to FUCKING HELP????!!!! It's bad enough that racists and other jack offs are going at him! Why are you doing the same??!!! And if you think your disgruntledness is more valid because you voted for him thing again.

Did you not remember who we had as our last President and the one before that and the one before that and the one before that and the one before that...!!!! I sure as fuck do and I'm so fucking sick of hearing about the how GAY community is not getting everything they were promised and that jobs that are getting created aren't the right kind of jobs and the oil oh the oil in the gulf and all the other bullshit that everyone fixates on. Hell Nigeria has had the same problem that the Gulf is having for years. Their costal waters are as dead as the Dead Sea but no one is going to help them because WE can't give up our cars and our demand for all things petroleum!!! Even when it may cause the unwanted suffering of millions both here and abroad we can't be bothered. And Wayne LaPierre don't forget your fucking gun when you go this Sunday CHURCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That gun in church nonsense begs the question, "WHAT THE FUCK WOULD JESUS DO???"

But I digress...

But before I get back on track let me just say this. I'm especially bothered by the GAY leadership of our nation right now. There has been so much change for the good that has happened in the last 18 months for our community and you're bitching about that its not fast enough. How much got done say in the last, oh I don't know, ten thousand years?!!! And Hey GAY PEOPLE we in the trans community, you remember us, are used to waiting like our whole fucking lives to be whole. With all due respect you tell people your gay and you got a lot of shit ahead of you but when we tell people we're trans we're just getting started!!!

I could list President Obama's accomplishments but the biggest one is he has started real change. Real change like Health Care and Financial Reform and getting out of these Wars and stopping DADT and on and on so GET OFF OBAMA'S BACK!!!! He's trying like hell to do the right thing now we got it FINISH it. We all need to be quiet and smart. And that goes for me. So I'll shut up now and put away the dishes and WALK to church on Sunday!!

Marie Fairman

My Hero

Hero was his name.  I know it usually a girl's name but my Dad had named the mangy black cur who was my first dog and my first real friend Hero.  We lived in northern suburbs of Indianapolis.  It was not very populated when we first moved out there as a matter of fact we were in the only home built.  Over the next few years home’s were built and were always immediately occupied and pretty soon there was a whole neighborhood around us.  So Hero who moved with us from my Grandparent's was the defacto ruler of all dogs by claiming every bush and tree before other dogs with pedigrees and attitude even got their chance to make their mark.  Hero ran about the neighborhood free.  He accompanied my brother when he had a short lived paper route and everyone got to know the super sweet, tail constantly wagging pooch.  He was as much the neighborhood's dog as he was ours.

By the time I was his companion as I traveled along on my bike to see the sights of our neighborhood, Ralston Heights, he had seen it all before.  He was getting up in years and now was content to hanging around the house and survey his survey his kingdom from the stoop that led to the back of our house.  That’s where you find him usually sleeping more and more as old age was setting upon him.

On July Fourth in 1964 he had reached 16 years of age and though he was an American dog he had never liked the loud noises of Independence Day.  The neighborhood sounds of exploding cherry bombs, firecrackers, roman candle and their like always upset him.  But the fireworks we're quite legal for adults to purchase and would find themselves in the hands of their children every fourth.  That evening we went to a fireworks display at Riverside Park.  We left Hero alone in the backyard on the stoop that led to our back room and settled down to a comfortable nap as he awaited his pack’s return.

When we returned home from a totally lame fireworks display, Hero was not around the house and my Mother immediately worried about him.  My Dad assured her and me that we would find him lying on the stoop that led to our back room in the back yard when we awoke.  He had done this kind of thing for years and there was reason to think otherwise.

The next morning, we all awoke to a banging on our front door.  My Father answered it and talked with one of our neighbors for a brief bit and then turned to us with devastating news.  Out on the big road that led to our neighborhood there was the body of dog lying on the roadside.  My Mother stated to cry and so did I as Dad got in the car and traveled out to see if it was our Hero. 

In what seemed like forever Dad returned shortly.  He left the car in the driveway which was unusual because he always pulled it into the garage.  He got out of the car and slowly walked up to his sobbing family.  He told us that he had found Hero on the Big road and he was dead presumably hit by a vehicle.  He then told us that Hero was lying in a blanket in the back seat of our car.  I wanted to see him but Dad would not let me and my Mother held me back.  I turned into my Mother’s arms and dissolved into heaving tears.  Dad took Hero to the vet who would take care of Hero's final arrangements. 

My Mom stayed at home with her devastated little child.  I couldn't stop crying.  I couldn't believe how sudden life could be taken away.  I've never been able to wrap my head around that to this day.  I accept it now but it still leaves me utterly helpless at the capriciousness of death.

Over the next few days, we pieced together the last few hours of Hero's life.  After we left to watch the fireworks, a group of boys came by our yard where Hero was lying peacefully on the stoop to back room of the house.  They were armed with various LEGAL fireworks mentioned before, lit a few and threw them at our defenseless dog.  Hero sought shelter but there was none to be found in the yard and so he bolted out of our yard.  He ran through our neighborhood pursued by the pack of boys maintaining their assault on him.  He ran out of the safety of neighborhood and onto to the unfamiliar Big Road and was hit by some vehicle and was probably killed instantly.  We got this account from all our passive neighbors as they watched the tragic story unfold.  In all fairness to them, Hero was a street wise dog and all thought he would eventually evade his torturers.  But Hero was old and arthritic and could no longer make the quick turns and have sudden bursts of speed that had been his legend. His fate was sealed when he left our yard.

I wanted to post this today because this is the date I learned of the news.  Since that day, the July 4th weekend, no matter what I do, has always been tinged with melancholy as I remember my fallen friend.  Sure he was just a dog but to me he was my first and bestest friend.  

It was concluded by many that the boys had spooked him and Hero had run away in fear.  I can't imagine my loyal friend ever doing that.  Instead I always like to remember him leading the danger away from his pack and our home and then tragically given his life for us.  After all, his name was Hero.

Marie Fairman July 5^th, 2010

Looking for Work can be Bittersweet

My spouse and I are going Metro!!!  Our carbon footprint has just gone down considerably because we gave up our car and we're walking or taking mass transit to get to wherever we have to get too.  It's so liberating not to have that damn Prius anymore.  No it really is.  We didn't really want to give it up but sometimes you have to do what's best for yourself and the world.  Okay we do care about the world but we had to give up the Prius regardless.  It just so happens that Joy's (my spouse) work is right on a bus route and so is our apartment.  So we could give up the Prius and she could keep her job and I can get to my training and job interviews.

The main reason we gave up the car was that quite suddenly my unemployment stopped.  I came to find out that I was one of the million plus people who were being funded by the federal government.  With the Senate unable to pass the new funding suddenly it was gone.  Such is life.  I wouldn't want to live anywhere else but the United States and we don't have enough money to move anyway.

I'm not worried about us. We're blessed.  My spouse is working and loves her job and so many of our friends are helping us get through this. I am concerned that a new mindset is taking shape in our national dialogue.  Not helping the "least of these" is seen by many as the right thing to do.  I believe its because the meaning of the "least of these" has changed.  What use to mean a person or persons is now a number.  1.2 million unemployed.  Numbers have no feelings so you can ignore them.  When you're talking about 200 million plus in the work force and the number is less than half a per cent its easy to make a "tough" choice.

I believe that unemployment insurance is a good thing and I hope it will continue for those of us affected and those affected is a number that grows weekly.  But it must be accompanied by training and that training should be free. 

I waited a year for MS Office training at the Actors Fund.  It's fantastic.  It's a twelve week course that includes basic to third level training in Powerpoint, Word and Excel.  I'm through Powerpoint and am not quite halfway through Word with five weeks of Excel training to follow.  I've used these programs for years but I can't tell you how reaffirming and enlightening it is to finally have someone to show you how they really work.  And the training is free.  I had to wait a year because having a highly skilled experienced instructor teaching you a new skill set for free is really hard to find.  It shouldn't be.  

Members of Congress have also been saying that those of us on "unending" unemployment are unmotivated, lazy and one Freshman Democrat in Congress said that we're not looking for work because we're eating bonbons.  For the record, I have not eaten one bonbon during my entire recent unemployment.  If she had said that we're eating See's Dark Chocolate Truffles well...  But it does make going through these days sweeter.  Well bittersweeter.