Monday, August 9, 2010

God please HELP US! I Could Be a TV Commentator!!

We've finally got there.  Anyone can be a TV commentator.  It might be on YouTube or their own website or just a low resolution video attached to an email but EVERYONE can be a commentator on TV!!!  You don't need an education.  As a matter of fact that might be a hindrance.  If you do have an education you should ignore it.  Especially if you're a baby boomer.  Forget all you've learned from living through Viet Nam, race relations, the peace movement, Watergate, women's liberation or Woodstock.  Instead plant your head firmly up your ass and then try to talk.  What comes out will be crap but that is evidently what advertisers (especially heterosexual males with ED) want to associate themselves with so you will likely succeed!!! 

Ignorance now is truth.  What you don't know should not intimidate your right to free speech.  Go ahead and talk.  Make it up as you go along.  Go off on tangents and never return to the point you started.  Just yak and whatever you say will become the new truth and that will go viral.

What a heady time for stupid people.  Finally they are getting compensated for their lack of education and unwillingness to work.  It's almost a miracle that so few with so limited an idea of humanity should lead a humanity that is losing its humanity.

Glen Beck says the President of the United States is a racist.  Who knew?  Rick Sanchez on CNN sent his intrepid reporter to the Abbey in West Hollywood when Prop 8 was overturned.  You don't know what the Abbey is?  She's our favorite character on NCIS!!!  And how about when a little white girl goes missing?  Will we ever get enough coverage?  Not possible.

On Cable News you can't overreact to a story.  Look into the camera  and say, "Breaking News!!" and then say, "Let's check in and see if there's is still oil in the Gulf."  There was oil in the Gulf BEFORE the spill.  You can't go wrong!  Go with the visceral images and loop those image again and again and bring in anybody who has ever heard about water or oil and talk endlessly over the images.  We never will know when the spill in the Gulf is over. Great job!!!

News is now a montage of images both real and real looking and it doesn't matter which is which.  Whatever gets you ratings is what's important.  Go with you gut.  The bigger the better.  Addle your brain with drugs and alcohol.  Just keep going like an Energizer bunny!!  But don't use lithium!!!  It could bring you down man.

I want to join in!!!  I have an education (supposedly) but its mostly in Theatre so it was always suspect as to its real world worthiness.  But I  do have some improv skills and watching the terrific troupe of improv artists/anchors in cable news (with special props to Fox News) and listening to them on talk radio I am empowered to try this myself.

I am empowered but I just don't have the balls (literally) to do it.  I'm still in awe of the great pretenders and I'm not sure I could keep bearing false witness with such fidelity.  I know someone would call me out and I would crumble.  These people don't!!  If anything they get more bold and make up new stuff.  My admiration for them is without reason. It just feels wrong and I know then its must be inequitable.

Keep it up you morons of the media. Whether your ideology is left or right or nowhere because to have principles is just too confusing, keep up your asinine dialogues and monologues.  Mutual masturbation is always fun for someone.

No comments: